I have been struggling the last few months, with several things. This is all my own fault though. Sometimes I think I can do it all. I can do that run, I can take that class, I can help that friend, I can do that extra work, I can do it!!! I’ve been here before, welcome to burn out.
I work fulltime and I am also in school part-time working on a degree. This year I signed up to do 4 half courses, two each term. I knew I was in trouble after the first week, I was already behind in the reading. I had assumed (mistakenly) that an online course would be less time then actually going to the university to do attend a class. WRONG.
I ran a half-marathon this past spring, rode in a two-day 150k bike tour and ran a few other 10k runs. I thought I could run another half-marathon this fall, no problem. I have run two in a year before, and I run fairly consistently. Piece of cake, right? WRONG.
Last week I found myself sitting on the couch in tears, feeling like a failure. I wanted to drop a class and drop out of the half-marathon. What a loser. Not sure why I still talk to myself this way. I would never speak that way to a friend that was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and needed to cut back on things.
This weekend I am feeling more relaxed and happy about the decisions I’ve made. I had a number of good friends tell me what a good thing I was doing taking a few steps back. Even the academic advisor told me it was better to drop the course then struggle and possibly not do very well. For a young woman in her 20s, she had a lot of wisdom to share with this 40something.
So that’s it. Sometimes you just gotta take a few steps back and get some rest. I’m not sure at what point in my life I equated resting with being lazy. But it can’t be such a bad thing, when I’m feeling so much relief! And I have more time to post on my blog.