Taking a few steps back

I have been struggling the last few months, with several things.  This is all my own fault though.  Sometimes I think I can do it all.  I can do that run, I can take that class, I can help that friend, I can do that extra work, I can do it!!!  I’ve been here before, welcome to burn out.

I work fulltime and I am also in school part-time working on a degree.  This year I signed up to do 4 half courses, two each term.  I knew I was in trouble after the first week, I was already behind in the reading.  I had assumed (mistakenly) that an online course would be less time then actually going to the university to do attend a class.  WRONG.

I ran a half-marathon this past spring, rode in a two-day 150k bike tour and ran a few other 10k runs.  I thought I could run another half-marathon this fall, no problem.  I have run two in a year before, and I run fairly consistently.  Piece of cake, right?  WRONG.

Last week I found myself sitting on the couch in tears, feeling like a failure.  I wanted to drop a class and drop out of the half-marathon.  What a loser.  Not sure why I still talk to myself this way.  I would never speak that way to a friend that was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and needed to cut back on things.

This weekend I am feeling more relaxed and happy about the decisions I’ve made.  I had a number of good friends tell me what a good thing I was doing taking a few steps back.  Even the academic advisor told me it was better to drop the course then struggle and possibly not do very well.  For a young woman in her 20s, she had a lot of wisdom to share with this 40something.

So that’s it.  Sometimes you just gotta take a few steps back and get some rest.  I’m not sure at what point in my life I equated resting with being lazy.  But it can’t be such a bad thing, when I’m feeling so much relief!  And I have more time to post on my blog.


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