*trigger warning: diet talk
I used to spend a lot of time researching food trends, diet ideas, low-fat recipes, diet books, and weight-loss websites. I would look into every new diet idea like it might be that holy grail of diets! I remember numerous times thinking that this time will be different, this one is going to work. I would prepare myself to start the diet, go shopping for whatever special foods I needed, get the protein powders and supplements. Come Monday morning I was READY! Then I found weight watchers, which was great for my dieter’s mentality. (Although they call it a lifestyle change which is really bs. Any program that instructs you on how much to eat is a DIET). Every week at the meeting they gave us a new flyer, and some tidbits of information to use for the week. This always felt kind of exhilarating to me, because I would weigh in on Saturday morning, and then start ‘fresh’ on Monday armed with any new information I had, or goal for that week. The instruction might have been to try and add veggies to every meal, add extra activity, focus on healthy snacks or something. I would spend the week watching my points, counting my points, logging activity points, calculating points of recipes, planning how to spend my points, or figuring out how many points I’d need to enjoy 2 drinks and a piece of cake on the weekend. I felt and acted obsessed. Oh! and if I found another weight-watcher and we could talk ww stuff… heaaaaaven!
Now, I eat when I’m hungry, I eat what I want and I stop eating when I’m full. It’s so simple! It’s also far less time consuming. Honestly, I have felt kind of lost the last couple months. I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so antsy and a little bored. Fact is, the dieting thing was such a huge part of my life for so many years. It kept me so busy and so preoccupied and it was all-consuming. I’m discovering new ways to spend my time and realizing now how much time I wasted on this obsession. But it really is difficult. I still find myself on occasion reading a weight-loss ‘success’ story and wondering if that person has maintained it? Have they lost the weight before? I have to admit, I am still obsessed. I want to be free from dieting, free from worrying about the 12 pounds I’ve gained (yes I broke down and weighed myself… that’s for another blog entry) and free from worrying about how I look.
There is so much more to life than this obsession, I’m able to see that now. I’m doing my best, although it can be hard with the images in media and hearing the diet-obsessed people at work natter on about their weight struggles. My fitness goals are a good focus for me now. I am redirecting my energy into performance fitness goals, and not about calories burned. I have also rediscovered reading fiction (I mean other than diet books-haha!!) and I am enjoying looking for really good books. (I take suggestions-hint, hint) I forgot how much I LOVE to read. Just to get lost in a fascinating story is such a pleasure!
I’m off to bed now to read!